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Example Of Details Essay Writing

General Essay Writing Tips


Despite the fact that, as Shakespeare said, "the pen is mightier than the sword," the pen itself is not enough to make an effective writer. In fact, though we may all like to think of ourselves as the next Shakespeare, inspiration alone is not the key to effective essay writing. You see, the conventions of English essays are more formulaic than you might think – and, in many ways, it can be as simple as counting to five.

The Five Paragraph Essay

Though more advanced academic papers are a category all their own, the basic high school or college essay has the following standardized, five paragraph structure:

Paragraph 1: Introduction
Paragraph 2: Body 1
Paragraph 3: Body 2
Paragraph 4: Body 3
Paragraph 5: Conclusion

Though it may seem formulaic – and, well, it is - the idea behind this structure is to make it easier for the reader to navigate the ideas put forth in an essay. You see, if your essay has the same structure as every other one, any reader should be able to quickly and easily find the information most relevant to them.

The Introduction

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The principle purpose of the introduction is to present your position (this is also known as the "thesis" or "argument") on the issue at hand but effective introductory paragraphs are so much more than that. Before you even get to this thesis statement, for example, the essay should begin with a "hook" that grabs the reader’s attention and makes them want to read on. Examples of effective hooks include relevant quotations ("no man is an island") or surprising statistics ("three out of four doctors report that…").

Only then, with the reader’s attention "hooked," should you move on to the thesis. The thesis should be a clear, one-sentence explanation of your position that leaves no doubt in the reader’s mind about which side you are on from the beginning of your essay.

Following the thesis, you should provide a mini-outline which previews the examples you will use to support your thesis in the rest of the essay. Not only does this tell the reader what to expect in the paragraphs to come but it also gives them a clearer understanding of what the essay is about.

Finally, designing the last sentence in this way has the added benefit of seamlessly moving the reader to the first paragraph of the body of the paper. In this way we can see that the basic introduction does not need to be much more than three or four sentences in length. If yours is much longer you might want to consider editing it down a bit!

Here, by way of example, is an introductory paragraph to an essay in response to the following question:

"Do we learn more from finding out that we have made mistakes or from our successful actions?"

"No man is an island" and, as such, he is constantly shaped and influenced by his experiences. People learn by doing and, accordingly, learn considerably more from their mistakes than their success. For proof of this, consider examples from both science and everyday experience.

DO – Pay Attention to Your Introductory Paragraph

Because this is the first paragraph of your essay it is your opportunity to give the reader the best first impression possible. The introductory paragraph not only gives the reader an idea of what you will talk about but also shows them how you will talk about it. Put a disproportionate amount of effort into this – more than the 20% a simple calculation would suggest – and you will be rewarded accordingly.

DO NOT – Use Passive Voice or I/My

Active voice, wherein the subjects direct actions rather than let the actions "happen to" them – "he scored a 97%" instead of "he was given a 97%" – is a much more powerful and attention-grabbing way to write. At the same time, unless it is a personal narrative, avoid personal pronouns like I, My, or Me. Try instead to be more general and you will have your reader hooked.

The Body Paragraphs

The middle paragraphs of the essay are collectively known as the body paragraphs and, as alluded to above, the main purpose of a body paragraph is to spell out in detail the examples that support your thesis.

For the first body paragraph you should use your strongest argument or most significant example unless some other more obvious beginning point (as in the case of chronological explanations) is required. The first sentence of this paragraph should be the topic sentence of the paragraph that directly relates to the examples listed in the mini-outline of introductory paragraph.

A one sentence body paragraph that simply cites the example of "George Washington" or "LeBron James" is not enough, however. No, following this an effective essay will follow up on this topic sentence by explaining to the reader, in detail, who or what an example is and, more importantly, why that example is relevant.

Even the most famous examples need context. For example, George Washington’s life was extremely complex – by using him as an example, do you intend to refer to his honesty, bravery, or maybe even his wooden teeth? The reader needs to know this and it is your job as the writer to paint the appropriate picture for them. To do this, it is a good idea to provide the reader with five or six relevant facts about the life (in general) or event (in particular) you believe most clearly illustrates your point.

Having done that, you then need to explain exactly why this example proves your thesis. The importance of this step cannot be understated (although it clearly can be underlined); this is, after all, the whole reason you are providing the example in the first place. Seal the deal by directly stating why this example is relevant.

Here is an example of a body paragraph to continue the essay begun above:

Take, by way of example, Thomas Edison. The famed American inventor rose to prominence in the late 19th century because of his successes, yes, but even he felt that these successes were the result of his many failures. He did not succeed in his work on one of his most famous inventions, the lightbulb, on his first try nor even on his hundred and first try. In fact, it took him more than 1,000 attempts to make the first incandescent bulb but, along the way, he learned quite a deal. As he himself said, "I did not fail a thousand times but instead succeeded in finding a thousand ways it would not work." Thus Edison demonstrated both in thought and action how instructive mistakes can be.

DO – Tie Things Together

The first sentence – the topic sentence - of your body paragraphs needs to have a lot individual pieces to be truly effective. Not only should it open with a transition that signals the change from one idea to the next but also it should (ideally) also have a common thread which ties all of the body paragraphs together. For example, if you used "first" in the first body paragraph then you should used "secondly" in the second or "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" accordingly.

DO NOT – Be Too General

Examples should be relevant to the thesis and so should the explanatory details you provide for them. It can be hard to summarize the full richness of a given example in just a few lines so make them count. If you are trying to explain why George Washington is a great example of a strong leader, for instance, his childhood adventure with the cherry tree (though interesting in another essay) should probably be skipped over.

A Word on Transitions

You may have noticed that, though the above paragraph aligns pretty closely with the provided outline, there is one large exception: the first few words. These words are example of a transitional phrase – others include "furthermore," "moreover," but also "by contrast" and "on the other hand" – and are the hallmark of good writing.

Transitional phrases are useful for showing the reader where one section ends and another begins. It may be helpful to see them as the written equivalent of the kinds of spoken cues used in formal speeches that signal the end of one set of ideas and the beginning of another. In essence, they lead the reader from one section of the paragraph of another.

To further illustrate this, consider the second body paragraph of our example essay:

In a similar way, we are all like Edison in our own way. Whenever we learn a new skill - be it riding a bike, driving a car, or cooking a cake - we learn from our mistakes. Few, if any, are ready to go from training wheels to a marathon in a single day but these early experiences (these so-called mistakes) can help us improve our performance over time. You cannot make a cake without breaking a few eggs and, likewise, we learn by doing and doing inevitably means making mistakes.

Hopefully this example not only provides another example of an effective body paragraph but also illustrates how transitional phrases can be used to distinguish between them.

The Conclusion

Although the conclusion paragraph comes at the end of your essay it should not be seen as an afterthought. As the final paragraph is represents your last chance to make your case and, as such, should follow an extremely rigid format.

One way to think of the conclusion is, paradoxically, as a second introduction because it does in fact contain many of the same features. While it does not need to be too long – four well-crafted sentence should be enough – it can make or break and essay.

Effective conclusions open with a concluding transition ("in conclusion," "in the end," etc.) and an allusion to the "hook" used in the introductory paragraph. After that you should immediately provide a restatement of your thesis statement.

This should be the fourth or fifth time you have repeated your thesis so while you should use a variety of word choice in the body paragraphs it is a acceptable idea to use some (but not all) of the original language you used in the introduction. This echoing effect not only reinforces your argument but also ties it nicely to the second key element of the conclusion: a brief (two or three words is enough) review of the three main points from the body of the paper.

Having done all of that, the final element – and final sentence in your essay – should be a "global statement" or "call to action" that gives the reader signals that the discussion has come to an end.

In the end, then, one thing is clear: mistakes do far more to help us learn and improve than successes. As examples from both science and everyday experience can attest, if we treat each mistake not as a misstep but as a learning experience the possibilities for self-improvement are limitless.

DO – Be Powerful

The conclusion paragraph can be a difficult paragraph to write effectively but, as it is your last chance to convince or otherwise impress the reader, it is worth investing some time in. Take this opportunity to restate your thesis with confidence; if you present your argument as "obvious" then the reader might just do the same.

DO NOT – Copy the First Paragraph

Although you can reuse the same key words in the conclusion as you did in the introduction, try not to copy whole phrases word for word. Instead, try to use this last paragraph to really show your skills as a writer by being as artful in your rephrasing as possible.

Taken together, then, the overall structure of a five paragraph essay should look something like this:

Introduction Paragraph

  • An attention-grabbing "hook"
  • A thesis statement
  • A preview of the three subtopics you will discuss in the body paragraphs.

First Body Paragraph

  • Topic sentence which states the first subtopic and opens with a transition
  • Supporting details or examples
  • An explanation of how this example proves your thesis

Second Body Paragraph

  • Topic sentence which states the second subtopic and opens with a transition
  • Supporting details or examples
  • An explanation of how this example proves your thesis

Third Body Paragraph

  • Topic sentence which states the third subtopic and opens with a transition
  • Supporting details or examples
  • An explanation of how this example proves your thesis

Concluding Paragraph

  • Concluding Transition, Reverse "hook," and restatement of thesis.
  • Rephrasing main topic and subtopics.
  • Global statement or call to action.

More tips to make your essay shine

Planning Pays

Although it may seem like a waste of time – especially during exams where time is tight – it is almost always better to brainstorm a bit before beginning your essay. This should enable you to find the best supporting ideas – rather than simply the first ones that come to mind – and position them in your essay accordingly.

Your best supporting idea – the one that most strongly makes your case and, simultaneously, about which you have the most knowledge – should go first. Even the best-written essays can fail because of ineffectively placed arguments.

Aim for Variety

Sentences and vocabulary of varying complexity are one of the hallmarks of effective writing. When you are writing, try to avoid using the same words and phrases over and over again. You don’t have to be a walking thesaurus but a little variance can make the same idea sparkle.

If you are asked about "money," you could try "wealth" or "riches." At the same time, avoid beginning sentences the dull pattern of "subject + verb + direct object." Although examples of this are harder to give, consider our writing throughout this article as one big example of sentence structure variety.

Practice! Practice! Practice!

In the end, though, remember that good writing does not happen by accident. Although we have endeavored to explain everything that goes into effective essay writing in as clear and concise a way as possible, it is much easier in theory than it is in practice.

As a result, we recommend that you practice writing sample essays on various topics. Even if they are not masterpieces at first, a bit of regular practice will soon change that – and make you better prepared when it comes to the real thing.

Now that you’ve learned how to write an effective essay, check out our Sample Essays so you can see how they are done in practice.

Essay Writing Center

Related Content:

The following Graduation Writing Proficiency Examination essays were written by HSU students during a regularly scheduled GWPE.  Except for the elimination of cross-outs, the essays are reproduced here exactly as written.  Insofar as possible, the essays were chosen to represent the entire range of possible scores.  (No essay received a score of One on Essay Topic I.)  The majors represented by the authors of these essays are, in alphabetical order, Art, Biology, Business Administration, Environmental Resources Engineering, Fisheries, Geography, Geology, Industrial Arts, and Resource Planning and Interpretation.

Personal-Experience Essay Prompt

You have 45 minutes to write on the following topic.

A distinguished essayist once wrote: "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested."

Write an essay in which you:

  1. Describe a book that has strongly affected you.
  2. Explain how your reading of this book changed your outlook.
  3. Tell why you think this book had such a profound effect on you.
Sample Essay Score:  Six

During my third year of college I became acutely aware of the Womens Rights Issue.  I made an attempt to re-examine many of the cultural norms that I had previously accepted as just being "the natural order of things."  One of the paths I took to expand my awareness of the female psyche involved women's literature.  That is why I spent one weekend of my life in bed--crying, laughing, feeling sometimes confused, and often, incredibly angry and distraught.  On that rainy Humboldt Friday night I had decided to read "The Women's Room."

The author, Marilyn Fridey, describes the lives of several women from the 1950's to present.  These women are nothing out of the ordinary.  They either go to college and then get married, or they get married without bothering about the pretense of college--after all, they know that college is only a way to find more economically promising husbands.  Myra, the main character whose life is traced throughout the book vaguely wonders why she is not content cooking pot roast, scraping shit from the baby's diapers, and picking up her husband's dry cleaning.  Her only solace is the neighborhood of women who share concerns over coffee in the afternoons.

They wonder why Katherine, a Catholic woman who has 9 children and an alcoholic husband, committed suicide.  "She had a normal life, they thought, she just should have talked her husband into using birth control."  As for the rest of the women, including Myra, their lives, fears, disappointments and yearnings, were much more subtle, yet equally suicidal in their quiet desperation.

Many years down the road, Myra's life finally changes. Her husband has "made it", the kids have grown, and life is easy economically.  Myra has a nervous breakdown.  Once recovered, she divorces, and becomes a graduate student at Yale.  Though painful and difficult, it is here that she comes to terms with herself, realizes her potential, and learns to live with herself--not necessarily happily--but at least honestly.

After I finished the story of Myras world that Sunday evening, I woke up in the middle of the night sobbing uncontrollably from a terrible nightmare.  Though I couldn't remember the dream, I came to a profound realization. Myra's life was my mothers.

Most of my life I had revered, respected and admired my father for going to college, being intelligent and worldly, having power and control.  In short for being a man.

My mother always seemed too "wishy-washy", easily trodden upon, overly dependent because she had chosen the role of HOUSEWIFE, MOTHER.  I rebelled against the tradition, and feared wearing those chains someday.  Consequently, I strove to be like my father.

Until this book, I never realized how much more courage it took for a person to live within a stifled role, and find contentment by living through other people.  During that night of crying I understood my mother for the first time--I respected her inner strength, compassion, gentleness.

Ever since then, my relationship with my mother has evolved, and we are very close.  I will probably never adopt the role in life that she chose to take, but I now respect her for her life, and understand the reasons why she made those choices.  Reading of Myra's evolution as a female changed the way I feel towards myself, my feelings and compassion for my mother, and provided me with a much more sensitive view towards the lives of many women in our society today.

Comment:Clearly a well-written, superior essay.  Each of the three parts of the topic is covered and well developed, with considerable detail provided.  Despite an occasional lapse in the use of the possessive and a few other matters, the paper is strong in mechanics.  Sentence structure is sophisticated and effective.

Sample Essay Score:  5

Through the ages of 8-15 I was an avid reader of pleasure books.  The majority of the books were mysteries such as Nancy Drew or the Hardy Boys.  Books about animals were avoided because they usually had a very sentimental theme, and I was very emotional when it came to animal suffering.

When I was approximately 10 years old I read a book titled Misty & Chatlenaque.  This book was about a young horse that was stranded on an island.  It had been on a horse-trading ship when the ship wrecked on the rocks.  Misty went through several adventures where wild dogs tried to kill her, horse traders tried to capture her (and beat her in the process), and the sea tried to swallow her.

A little girl who lived on the Island found Misty and tried to protect her from the wild dogs and horse traders.  The story was told from the horse's point view, and the agony and terror Misty went through passed on to me.  I felt as if it were me who was being chased and beat.

A girl at the age of ten is influenced by the things she sees and reads.  Years after reading the book I had the notion that horse ranches were terrible to horses.  I also felt that horses were very human in the sense that they could think, feel, understand, and have emotions.

Whenever I passed by a horse who was behind a fence I had to stop and feed it, talk to it, pet it, and feel sorry for it.  Every horse had that "Misty" look in its eyes, and I felt it was "crying out to me".

After reading Misty and Chatlenaque, horses became more than just an animal to me.  They became something I could relate to and sympathize with.  I myself was a lonely child who felt neglected (even though I wasn't) and "penned".  While reading the book I felt the horse and I were one.  Years later I felt like horses and I had something in common and could relate to each other.

Now, I know horses do not understand what I say to them, but I still stop and talk to them as if they were human.  I feel that if I had not read that book eleven years ago I wouldn't feel as attached to horses as I do now.  To this day, I refuse to read another horse book or watch a horse movie that looks like it might be "emotional" or "sentimental".

Misty & Chatlenaque is still a very prominent book in my mind, and details of it are remembered frequently.  It has had the profound effect of altering my view of horses and will probably remain in my memory for life.  The book also had the effect of making me not want to read those kinds of books again.  Their emotional impact was too great on me so I only read mysteries and school books.  To this day I have my reservations about reading an emotional book, especially if it pertains to animals.

Comment:A very competent paper, nearly free of mechanical errors but lacking the coherent development of the superior essay.  It is also occasionally repetitious and a bit unfocused at times.  (The correct title of this book is Misty of Chincoteaque.)

Sample Essay Score:  4

In the summer of 1981 I worked for the Army Corps of Engineers on the Warm Springs Dam Project.  Much to my objections I was to spend the entire summer living alone, without my wife, since she had obligations to keep in Eureka, California.

The project was located 7 miles southwest of Cloverdale, Ca., in an area which is essentially agricultural.  Housing in the area was very scarce and the lodging which could be found was either too expensive or unsuitable.  By my own preference, I decided it would be nice to camp out in the woods for the entire duration of the summer.

At first the evenings after work were hot but beautifully peaceful.  It didn't take long though until I found my self bored to death looking for something to do besides play solitare.  How did the people in the early days of our world stand life without television.  I was forced to find some other means of entertainment which just happened to be reading.

The only reading material which was at my camp was a book left there by my wife on her last visit entitled "The Stix Complex."  This book to most of the world I'm sure has no great literary value, but to me, it was the greatest entertainment I had ever found.  I realized that in the reading of a book, ones own imagination can bring out much more detail in a story than television ever could.

I don't feel that it was the specific book that struck me so much that summer, and it probably could have been any book.  I realized that we expect to be entertained by television and movies so much that we forget that we can entertain ourselves to a much higher degree.  I still watch television, but I now read much more for enjoyment.

Comment:Although this essay addresses all three aspects of the topic, development of them is thin.  The writer devotes most of the essay to describing his situation and passes rather quickly over the book itself and its effects on him.  Still, despite a few mechanical flaws, this is clearly a competent piece of writing.

Sample Essay Score:  3

I was strongly affected by a book I read called Never Cry Wolf.  The book discribes a remote animal behavor study, located in a mountainous region of northern Canada.  The purpose of the study was to observe the animal behavior of wolfs in there natural environment. The study was conducted by a wildlife biologist, working for the Canadian goverment.

Up until the time I read the book, I had the impression that wolfs where among the meanest creatures on the planet.  I may have received this impression from childhood fairy tales that were told to me.  After reading the book severl times, my impression of wolfs had changed.  I no longer viewed wolfs as mean creatues, but instead viewed them as primarly passive creatures.  Their intent was not to harm, but to survive.

Animal behavior became a primary interest of mine after reading the book, Never Cry Wolf.  Although, I am not a wildlife major, I have assisted in a wildlife study on wolfs.  I would have never gained this experience if I had not read Never Cry wolf.  The knowledge I gained from the book has opened my eyes to nature.

Comment:While no parts of the topic are omitted, treatment of them tends to be superficial.  The writer provides very little supporting detail.  Considerable repetition is present because of the predominantly simple sentences used.  (Note, for example, how the three opening sentences can easily be combined into one: I was strongly affected by a book I read called Never Cry Wolf, which describes the behavior of wolves living in their natural environment in the mountains of northern Canada.)  Spelling is also weak.

Sample Essay Score:  2

The purpose of this essay is to describe my personal experience; that of a particular book which has greatly affected me.  This book is Sweet Thursday by John Stienbeck.  This book has greatly affected my over all outlook on life in general.  Sweet Thursdaychanged the way I think about myself and others.  Also, it has changed the way I feel about my own career.

The main character of the book was Doc.  Doc had a very profound outlook on twards life, which I found quite interesting.  He gave his career all of his attention yet still felt an emptyness inside.  This was because he was without a meaningful relationship with a women.  I too feel this emptyness, but because of Sweet Thursday I am able to understand what it is.  This understanding gives me hope when career goals are overwelming.

Comment:Although this essay does not ignore the question, it treats it very poorly.  The essay is both thin in content and lacking in development.  The writer uses repetitious simple sentences rather than more sophisticated sentence structures which would combine and properly subordinate thoughts and eliminate the repetitions.


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